Let's Look for the Teachable Moment

by Kit-Yiu Leung

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In guiding the young in optimal personality development, the most effective way is being a good role model to them. However, guidance, coaching or teaching still take an important role in inculcating in the young good character traits. Lecturing and nagging will just pull the young off. The best way is to look for the teachable moment and disguise teaching in different forms: sharing experience, showing care & concern, having a fun game, reading & telling stories and creating artworks and whatever you can creatively think of.

Let me quote you some authentic examples:

1. Sharing Experience:

On one occasion, my eldest grandson had a conflict with his sister and he was upset, being blamed by his dad. He probably found it unfair as his sister was not grounded. My husband grasped this golden teachable moment for counselling him. He empathised with his bitter feelings, but he did not support his inappropriate behaviour. What he did is to pose him a question, “I have nine brothers and sisters. Don’t you think that we have ever had any quarrels and conflicts?” He nodded as he thought so. Then my husband confirmed his answer and pointed out that it was common for brothers and sisters to have disagreements and issues, but soon they would resolve their problems and would be happy again, playing with one another. After listening to grandpa’s sharing, my grandson calmed down a bit and was ready for advice. He was advised not to get upset and talk out the problem with his sister. He is also reminded that when he is kind to his sister, his sister will be kind to him.

2. Showing Care & Concern:

Recently, my grandchildren have come for a sleepover. As my grandson was not feeling well, he was encouraged to have a full glass of water. Being very tired, he fell asleep right away. In the morning, my granddaughter came to me for urgent help for her brother. I guessed that he had wetted his bed as I hurried to him. He felt very embarrassed and apologised for wetting the bed. Immediately, I assured him that it was alright as accidents of this kind do happen to many children. I told him that my main concern was that he would catch a cold easily and thus get more sick. I had to look for underpants and pants that fitted him as he had already used up all his clean clothes. At last, I managed to find a pair of small shorts for his underpants and my pair of tights for pants. The great teachable moment is to let my grandson know that I care for him as a person and I care for his health. Care and concern for others matters the most! We need not blame others! We can FORGIVE them! I also pointed out to him that in this case, solving the problem for me is the most urgent task in order not to let him catch a cold and that very often we can only make use of the available or limited resources at hand. Furthermore, he was advised to prepare spare clothes when going for a sleepover or a trip for any emergencies.

3. Having A Fun Game:

In playing the chess game with my almost 4-year-old grandson, I seek every golden opportunity to instil in him a sense of perseverance, fairness, following the game rules and sportsmanship. While playing “Snakes & Ladders”, when I slid from a snake, I told him that I would not give up even though I fell behind. I will keep trying. When he slid from the snake, he felt a bit upset but he remembered my words and said, “I will not give up!”. In this way I modelled him the desirable behaviour: perseverance. I also showed him sportsmanship as I emphasised that I should not laugh at his falling down from a snake, nor should I laugh at him when he loses in a game. He followed my suit.

In playing the Aeroplane Game, I grasp the teachable moment to encourage my grandson to follow the game rules to practise fairness. For instance, we agree to take off when throwing a dice of 2, 4 or 6 and have one more throw if the dice shows 6. We also agree that when the player’s chess lands on the other player’s chess piece, it has to go back to the home base. Besides, when it is my turn to advance my chess piece, I identify the best move alternatives. For instance: I do my thinking process aloud: “If I move this chess piece and land on the square of my chess piece colour, I can jump to the next square of the same colour. This is the fastest or the best move. If I move the other chess pieces, I will lose the chance to jump farther.”, “If I roll a dice showing 6, I would rather move my chess piece that can go farther. I prefer to wait for another roll of a smaller number for a take off.”

My self-talk models for my grandson how I make my best decision: the best move. In fact, it heightens his cognitive awareness in considering the available options. Implicitly, he learns as he applies the problem-solving skills learnt from me. I can see his improvement every time I play with him and he has the ability to win a game. Most important of all, we have FUN together!

4. Reading & Telling Stories:

Like other children, my grandchildren enjoy both reading and listening to stories. When we are reading stories together, I like to ask them questions to check for their comprehension. I also like to ask them thought provoking questions. For example, I ask them to tell me their favourite part of the story and why or what makes them like a certain character. I am very impressed whenever they ask me in-depth thinking questions for their curiosity. To grasp the invaluable teaching moment, I will highlight the moral lesson of a story in fostering desirable character traits. To fully make use of the story time, I will tell my grandchildren tailor-made stories to encourage them to behave appropriately or guide them to appreciate other perspectives. To engage them, I like to dramatically tell them funny stories about Siu Ming, a make-up character, who at last decides to make a good choice after doing different misdeeds or mischiefs.

5. Creating Artworks

During a visit, my eldest grandson was excited about making mashed potatoes for us. To his dismay, the potatoes sprouted and they had to be dumped. This is an excellent teachable moment! I suggested using the sprouted potatoes for artworks, not wasting them completely. It is a novice experience for my grandson and granddaughter. Not only can we have fun, carving and stamp-printing with the potatoes, but the children can also learn to turn the inedible potatoes into useful artwork materials and develop their creativity.

The children are then introduced to the concept of 3Rs: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, which helps them to be aware of and support environmental protection.

To conclude, starting from today, let's be more aware of the teachable moments when we can spend the time with our youngsters in a more inspiring, meaningful and educational way. Surely, we can always make it creative, fun and amusing.